Recently I took my son to a Mixed Martial Arts fight. Two men, one cage, three rounds of mayhem.
It was glorious.
Two men stepping onto the canvas, having trained, having worked, having prepared. Ready to bring their best fight right to their opponent.
Yet time and again I saw fighters fail. I saw a powerful pugilist, pushed up against the wall, holding up their gloved hands, desperately trying to ward off their opponent's rain of blows. Reacting, not proacting.
And I knew if they could not get out of reactive mode, their fight was over. Reminds me of the famous quote by Mike Tyson, "Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth."
We all get stuck in Reactive Mode.
Things happen to us. Decisions are made about us. People act towards us--we get punched in the mouth--and we react. We throw out our plan and throw up our hands, trying to ward off the blows around us, biding our time until they stop and we can regain a sense of purpose and control.
How do you shift from Reactive to Proactive? How to we get our plans back on track and come out swinging?
What I tell CEO's is what I have taught my own sons: Confidence does not lead to action; action leads to confidence.
Confidence does not lead to action; action leads to confidence.
That means we do not wait for the blows to stop, we don't wait for the bell to ring so we can muster the confidence to reset our battle strategy. No, we take ACTION. We identify what we CAN and SHOULD do, and begin there. We take the swing we can so we can begin to deliver the punches we want.
So how do we identify what action we CAN take? I've found this concept from Stephen Covey so powerful.
Imagine a giant circle called CONCERN. Inside of this circle are all the things that you have concern over, e.g. family, kids, work, clients, employees, current events, legislation, hearing God’s direction, etc. Now imagine within this circle is a much smaller circle called CONTROL. In here are things that you actually have agency over, e.g. actions you can take, next steps you can move forward on, decisions you have responsibility for, areas where you can focus your attention, etc.
The more time we focus on the circle of Concern, the smaller the circle of control shrinks, and therefore the less agency we feel and the more anxiety we feel.
The more time we focus on the circle of Control, the larger the circle of control grows, and therefore the more agency and less anxiety we feel.
Shifting our focus energizes us to see what we can act on and what we can move off our plate and onto God’s. It clarifies a course of action that gives us confidence to move forward, to take a swing, to get our plan back on track.
Example: The NFL player who has within his area of Concern whether there will be an NFL season this year. But within his circle of Control he has the opportunity to act in working out, keeping in shape, bettering his techniques, etc. This focus moves him forward.
Example: The salesperson who cannot control how many clients sign on with their business, but within her circle of Control is how many reach outs and follow ups she does. Action builds confidence and clarity.
Take a moment to walk through this exercise. Grab a whiteboard or legal pad and start with these steps:
This exercise will begin to focus your attention and action. It will also re-direct energy that you had been wasting in the circle of Concern towards where it will do the best good--the things you can actually Control.
Pull down your hands from protecting yourself and put them to work where your punches will be the most proactive--and the most productive.
I help Leaders like you regain proactivity as they navigate uncertain "what's nexts." Reach out to me to help you HERE.
